Wednesday, September 25, 2013

THE FIRST MAN I LOVED


I intended to brag about my exciting adventures in Cambodia during this blog but that will have to wait.  I received news yesterday that tore at my heart.  A close friend lost her father, she had no time to prepare for the impact or say goodbye, he simply left her house after a visit and never made it home.   After receiving the news I sat at the dining room table, not sure how to comfort a friend when I was so far away.  A phone call, a text an email, none of these seem enough when you know someone is experiencing so much heart ache . As I dwelt on how best to support my friend my thoughts turned to my own dad. 

I remember been a teenager when I read that the first man a girl falls in love with is her father.  I imagine I was fairly repulsed at the time, how ridiculous and gross that sounded.  Fast forward to today and I know this phrase is true.  My dad is one of the most amazing men I know.  As a little girl I wrestled on the floor with my brother and sister, in fits of laughter as my dad tickled us. I remember a man who could build or fix anything in his shed. He would meet us at the school gates when he could, buying us ice creams on the walk home.  As a little girl he was the strongest man I knew able to wipe away a tear, brush the dust off after a fall, hoist me on his shoulders and make my world better. 

As I grew up my dad’s love for me never faltered even when my teenage ways surely tested his patience.  There are something’s in life that a father never wants his daughter to experience but when my world imploded at 15 my dad was right there.  He held my hand, never leaving my side and was a pillar of strength as I did my best to move on with my life.  I never knew how my dad felt at that time, never asked him, just knew he was there doing his best to help his daughter and as I sit here I don’t think I have ever told my dad how much his strength meant to me. 

I grew up and moved cities, visiting when I could, dad never more than a phone call away.  I
moved countries, travelled the world and dad was still right there when I needed him.  When Princess Pants was born, my father was one of the first people to hold her.  He held the most precious thing in my world so gently.  I have a photo of him with her in his arms she is barely 3 days old the look of love in my dad’s eyes as looks at her in the photo melts my heart.  I am so lucky that Princess Pants has such an amazing relationship with her Poppa, and I know he will love her and support her in the same ways he has always done for me.

As I sit here and reflect I know that phrase is true.  I fell in love with my dad as a young girl, and as I have grown so has my understanding of the first man I loved.  My father is the one person who I felt has never judged me or any of the stupid things I have done, he has always loved me unconditionally and has been someone I could always count on.  He may no longer be able to hoist me on to his shoulders but a hug from dad definitely makes the world seem a better place.