Indonesia is not a nanny state like the countries I spent
the last 30 plus years in. If I buy a
hairdryer here there will not be a sticker advising me not to stand in the
shower and use it, I must use my own common sense to assess that running water
and electrical products don’t go together.
This country will not warn me that I should not drive with my new sun
shield in place, that my Windex window cleaner is not fit for human consumption
or that my microwave is not to be used for drying pets. In Indonesia they assume that I can probably
work these things out for myself and therefore keep myself safe. Well that is
what I thought prior to Sunday.
Safety standards here are very different to those in
Australia, New Zealand and generally anywhere in the western world. I have come to except it as normal that my
power points spark during an electrical storm, scared the hell out of me the
first time but I am used to it now. It
has taken a year and many destroyed electrical items but I have also grasped
the fact that turning something off at the power point does not mean that it is
off and that the only way to make sure the hair straightner will not remain on
until it over heats and dies is to unplug it at the wall. Apparently my house is not earthed, there is
no automatic blowing of fuses when something goes awry electrically and every time
I plug or unplug something I hope for the best.
Why is the lack of safety warnings and precautions relevant
to this blog, well read on. Sunday
afternoon my house caught fire!!!!! Well okay it wasn’t exactly the entire
house, just a small part, but it had the potential to burn the whole house
down. Home alone, sitting back relaxing
there is a loud bang and suddenly flames appear from the roof fan in my
lounge. After it registered that oh shit
that’s not good I managed to jump up off my chair, trip over the golf clubs in
the middle of the floor, launch onto the coffee table and beat the flames with
------- a tea towel. I know - a tea
towel - really, what the hell was I thinking.
The tea towel and I did manage to beat the flames out, the only casualties
the plastic on the fan and the now burnt and holey piece of fabric that was
left in my hand. With a sense of kick
arseness I relaxed with a vodka admiring my quick reflexes and fire fighting
skill. However, the remainder of the
evening was spent stressing that my house was going to burn down around
me.
The next day a small army of men descended on my house and
replaced every light bulb (hmmm), serviced every air con (not the problem boys),
checked every conceivable appliance (including the sink??????) and were preparing to leave when in my best
Bahasa Indonesian I mentioned that I think they were actually meant to be
repairing the fan. This is where it all
goes bad and leads me to think that those safety warning tags should perhaps be
used in this country also. One gentleman
places a shiny metal ladder under the fan while three others hold it
steady. Without turning off any power he
proceeds to stick a screw driver into the mass of electrical stuff. Hmmmm, I know this cannot end well and
encourage Princess Pants to step away from the impending disaster. After lots of head shaking (by me and them),
he pulls out some duct tape, sticks the
melted wires back in place (yep you read that correctly), reattaches the fan to
the roof, climbs down the ladder and announces to me with a big smile on his
face “bagus Ibu” (good lady). I think at
this point my jaw hit the ground and I had a look of dumb confusion on my
face. I gathered myself and replied that no, not
good, not fixed. My maid has at this stage left for the day so
I am left to try to explain in an odd mix of Bahasa, English and hand signals that
he didn’t fix the fan and had just stuck it back together with tape. I thought I was making myself very clear,
obviously not as the word “sudah”
(already) was said a lot as this ‘electrician’ pointed at the fan. He couldn’t see my problem; he had already
fixed the fan. Apparently my lack of knowledge
of the local language and my hand signals (or maybe it was the look of WTF on
my face) was amusing to all the men working in the house as they all came to investigate
the crazy white lady, trying to give instructions. They eventually gave up on me and packed up
their tool boxes, thanked me and left.
Needless to say instructions have been given that the fan is
to remain OFF at all times and there will be an influx of smoke detectors
arriving at Batu Putih 4 as soon as I can arrange them. Perhaps safety tags are
not such a bad idea and may have come about from somebody actually doing
something as stupid as using the hair dryer in the shower. I now
believe that screw drivers in this county should carry a warning tag that
states “do not use on live electrical wiring” and that duct tape maybe needs a
tag saying “this product is not fire resistant”. I am hoping my fan stays attached to the
roof and that I no longer need my new found fire fighting skills but am not
counting on it.