Oh Woolies I Miss You

Anyone who knows me knows I dislike grocery shopping.  I would prefer a bikini wax to a trip to Woolies.  I was over the moon when home delivery was invented.  Sitting in front of the computer, vodka in hand ordering groceries.  Some nice young man delivering them to my door and carrying them into my bench - ahhh bliss. 

But here I am in the jungle of Borneo.  A trip to a supermarket consists of a smallish IGA type store (if I'm lucky), my Bahasa to English dictionary and a creative mind.  With all this time I have on my hands I have taken to baking daily and cooking up a treat for hubby's dinner so I am learning to experiment.  There is no self raising flour here - yep have to add baking powder to good old plain flour.  When I ran out hubby and I spent 4 hours driving from small shop to small shop in the hope of finding some.  At our last stop I found some tiny containers of the stuff - what did I do brought all 8 that they had in stock.

There is no just popping down to Woolies to grab that ingredient you need (in most cases you won't find it here anyway) but heading into our nearest town is such a mission (imagine having to visit 8 shops to find one ingredient). 

So when I return to Australia in 2 weeks time my first stop will be Woolies where you may see me just standing admiring the range of fresh fruit and veg, the meat section or wandering aimlessly from aisle to aisle with a stupid smile on my face.

The Joy Of The Maid

So here I am sitting in my pj's, its 8.20am and my maid arrived 15 mins ago.  We had a dinner party for 10 last night so the dishes are piled high, there is not a spare plate, bowl or piece of cutlery in my house.  The sight of this would normally send me into a sobbing mess over a coffee but not today.  I know I should be feeling bad that someone else will be spending the day cleaning and tidying up the mess but I don't.  I commented to my husband last night after our guests left "I love entertaining when I don't have to do the clean up", he smiled and asked me if I would like another vodka.  

Now in between doing the mountain of dishes my maid will also find time to wash and iron the laundry that has has accumulated since she left Saturday arvo (she is here Mon - Sat 8 - 4pm). How much can there be I hear you saying - well I live in the jungle, on the equator, so lots of laundry accumulate. (I sweat more than I ever felt possible so 3 changes of clothes a day is fairly norm.)  For the first two weeks I felt uncomfortable as this domestic whizz cleaned my clothes and house while I shopped online, face booked and generally swanned around like a lady of leisure I always thought I should be.  I felt uncomfortable at the thought of someone washing and folding my underwear (our maid folds undies in ways I have never seen undies folded before) or making my bed for me.  Now I can't quite pin point the moment when I got over my discomfort but I do know that when I return to reality (life in Australia) and don't have someone to clean up after me on a daily basis I will miss it. 

My hubby has commented on how clean the house is and I had to gently inform him to not get too used to it as on our return to Australia my distaste for household cleaning will again rear it's head.  This is just a quickie blog so all of you reading it can slip way to vacuum or fold laundry - while I swan around like lady muck :)

Sleeping The Job - No Problem Miss

So from my lounge window I can see workmen replacing the roof on my neighbours house.  Amidst many gasps and holy shits (all mine) I realised this crazy country has no WH&S.  These guys are on the roof, no safety gear balancing quite happily.  One guy stood on one foot, lent out and painted the edging.  Now this wouldn't be too bad except that that foot was balancing on the edge of a very high balcony.  I was transfixed by the workmen for hours, half expecting to have to run out and put my first aid training to use.  Hubby's advice to me that night as I expressed my disbelief to him was simply "close the curtains babe".  Clearly after two years as an expat he is more accustomed to this lack of self preservation than I am.

Two days on and I am hanging out my washing (have yet to hire a maid).   My clothes line is about 3 steps from wild jungle so I am a little jumpy of what might be creeping around.  I hear a noise behind me, coming from under the house.  (The house is high set so has heaps of open space under it).  There I see two men, mats rolled out sound asleep.  Hmmmm do I turn the hose on them.  As I discreetly pegged my delicates out of their line of vision, I snuck a glance over to them.  Sure enough these were two of the same team of dare devils that was replacing the neighbours roof.  I snuck back up to the house and after a quick call to hubby, I was informed that it is quite normal for the locals to be sleeping in the middle of the day.  That I should leave them be, they won't do any harm using the shade of the house.  I must admit I felt more than a little uncomfortable about this situation, but decided to listen hubby's advice for once. 

I now know to expect visitors under the house for a siesta between 12.30 -2pm and while the roof is under construction next door I keep the curtains closed (so as to keep my sanity).  I can only imagine the scene back in Australia if I had employed a tradesman and came home to find them taking a nana nap on the job.  Ohhhh I have so much to learn about this amazing, crazy country.

Not So Incy Wincy Spider

A storm hit last night.  Not your average run of the mill thunder and lighting job but a full on window rattling, house lighting up storm.  We have a tin roof so as I snuggled on the sofa with hubby I was enjoying the sound of rain on the roof.  Then it started the lighting lit the room up as if a light had been switched on.  If this hadn't got my attention the thunder claps were so loud the glass shook in the windows and I nearly wet myself.  Obviously I was not the only ones having issues with the noise.  I hopped off the sofa to check on Princess P (who was sound asleep - she can sleep through anything) and as I did something dropped from the light fitting.  It was a huuuuggggeee spider.  Seriously this things body alone would have been the size of a 50c piece and the legs just added to it's scariness.  As I squealed it turned and ran back up the wall and into a vent.  Hubby was hardly concerned, I however lay in bed later imaging it crawling across me in the night.  I will be on the look out for this monster of a creature and will have my camera ready to grab a photo.  Then me and my good friend google will try to work out what the hell breed it is and if it is likely to try to devour me in my sleep.

On A Road From Hell

So after travelling through 3 countries for 16 hours myself and princess P finally made it to Ballikpapan.  After an evening of celebratory drinks, great food and good company the feeling of sleeping in a real bed was devine.  Trying to sleep on a plane with princess P draped over me meant I managed about 4 hours sleep in total.  The next day was spent shopping for supplies that are unavaliable in Sangatta.  This adventure in itself took all day as it isn't as simple as popping down to Woolies or Coles, we visited several shops and were loaded to the hilt. 

Our driver arrived promptly at 8am the next morning, loaded the car and we were on our way.  The road from Balikpapan to Sangatta is similar to the rode to Paluma (for my Aussie friends) and the Parapara (for my kiwi friends).  It is a 6 hour trip and add to this the road slips, suicidal drivers and pot holes that could swallow a small car you can understand my trepidation. 

As we bounced and wound our way along the road - me wondering what the hell have I got myself in for, I became aware of the look of awe on Princess P's face.  As families of 6 perched themselves on scooters and slipped between small gaps in traffic defying all sense of safety Princess P watched on.  As I cringed and squirmed as I watched our driver overtake on hills and blind bends Princess P pointed to landscapes, mosques and all manner of other things that caught her eye.

Two hours into the drive we stopped at imigrasi (immigration).  They already had our passports (whole other story - handing passports to a random person at a foreign airport and watching them walk away with them), so I stupidly thought this would be fairly straight forward.  Two hours later after been fingerprinted and photographed I was feeling more of a criminal than an ex-pat.  Princess P was making the most of the situation, lapping up the constant stream of admiration from the local woman - "ahh so pretty, like a doll, so beautiful". Princess P's very blonde hair and blue eyes attract alot of attention where ever she goes in this country.  She also befriended a very cute local boy aged about 5 and though there was no common language they managed to have a great time sharing her DS and playing Super Mario.  The little guy looked very disappointed when Princess P had to leave, there were hugs and I am sure he stood waving till long after Princess P was in the car and driving down the road. 

So imigrasi done we had four more hours driving ahead of us.  I knew I couldn't handle the stress of looking out the windscreen anymore so cranked up the ipod and spent the next four hours hoping for the best. 

Over the noise of Lady GaGa blasting in my ear I heard a rather loud bang and knew something was up from the look on the drivers face (he spoke very limited English, I speak even less Bahasa).  Our front tyre had blown out.  With all our belongings unloaded on the side of the road so he could reach the spare we waited.  We drew quite a crowd - apparently seeing a white woman and child was a novelty in the very small village we had pulled up in.  After half an hour of being touched and talked at I was beginning to feel like a zoo animal.  Luckily the tyre was fixed and off we went again.

Seeing hubbies office was one of the best things I have seen in a long time.  The drive was over and we had survived it.  We will do the drive many more times while we are here and each time we will be placing our lives in the skill of our driver.

The adventure has begun ........